Photo by Matthew Ball on Unsplash

Unpleasant Experiences Often Disturb Mental Health.

Learn what mental health is and how I helped my friend who had a terrible experience.

Have you ever wondered why am I going down to this path? Will it do any good for me? What will the ones who love me think after they find it out? Will I feel any better? Will it take the pain away?

These types of questions should come before a person chooses this path. But it doesn’t as they are surrounded by dreadful experiences which block their clear thinking. This horrible path is self-harm, which further leads to suicide attempts.

We all need to acknowledge that most of the world still doesn’t really understand how bad mental health can affect a person. Unfortunately, there are many who don’t even understand what mental health really is.

What mental health really is?

Mental health includes emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It affects how we think, feel, and act. It also helps determine how we handle stress, relate to others, and make choices. Mental health is essential at every stage of life, from childhood and adolescence through adulthood.

There are many factors which can affect a person’s mental health;

  1. Physical Causes: Brain injury or birth trauma are the primary reasons for adverse mental health through physical cause. Sometimes drug users can also lead to affected mental health. More commonly, poor physical health can lead to low self-esteem, which can further lead to bad mental health.
  2. Abuses: Both a kid or an adult can face many difficulties throughout their lives if they have been abused. Poor mental health is a part of the challenges caused by abuse. Abuse can be of any type; physical, psychological, verbal, etc.
  3. Society / Surroundings: Now, this might sound absurd, but society plays a vital role in everyone’s life. The community can either make a harmful impact on a person’s mental health or a beneficial effect on a person’s mental health. If society encourages others, then it will give a good impact on everyone. If society discourages, judges others, then the mental health of society members can be easily affected.
  4. Family: One of the most essential factors is family. Just like how society can affect one’s mental health, similarly, the family can do the same. Family can put a person’s mental health in the worst condition. For example, if there is a family member loss, a person’s mental health can be affected severely. If the family doesn’t give time to their child, or if the family members are just rude, or if the bonds between family members are not good, these all can contribute to the bad mental health of anyone.
  5. Unpleasant experiences in life: Getting betrayed by loved ones or watching your best friend talk bad about you, behind your back or catching your partner cheating red-handed. All these dreadful experiences lead to heartbreak and bad mental health.

How I helped my friend:

Let me share, from the beginning, about my experiences with the people who chose self-harm and how I helped them.

I was fond of chatting with random people throughout the world. Google Plus, Google Hangouts were those applications which were rarely used in my community. I didn’t even know what were these applications for because also though they weren’t used, they were always there in any android phone you get. One day I, out of curiosity, signed up on these platforms through my email. They both were like Facebook and Facebook’s messenger.

I used those regularly, and I met strangers throughout the world. I introduced myself, and so did they. Many became my online friends, we would talk daily and even call sometimes. As days passed by, our trust level also increased. They would share their problems with me, and as a loyal friend, I would try my best to help them. But then arose an issue which I never expected. There was a friend of mine who started to self-harm. He sent me a picture of his arm and OH GOSH!!! That was a terrible condition of his arm. He used a sharp blade to cut his arm multiple times, and his wounds were deep, so they bled out. Such graphic violence photo made me sick, and I began to worry about my friend.

Watching something unexpected lead me to think out of the box. I never could have expected to do such a thing under any circumstances.

“But why did my friend do it?”

Now, this is the most common question that comes into a person’s mind when they get to know about their close one self-harming.

I was curious, so I asked him straight away.

Reminding him of my presence

The first thing I did was to make him believe I was there for him. Sometimes people who are self-harming or attempting to suicide, their judgement is clouded with emotions. They detach themselves from everyone, even their closest friends and families. Getting his attention was quite a hard task. He was neither responding to any of my texts nor attending any of my calls. But calling him multiple times, he picked up the call. Hearing my friend cry was very hard for me. I reminded him of the funny moments we had during our friendship, which made him laugh, and I also cracked a few jokes to make him feel better.

The main reason

Second, I tried to find what was the reason behind his self-harm. Now, most of the people are hard on their friends and tell them straight away that stop self-harming, sometimes might shout too. But at this moment, not everyone can hear their mistakes straight away. Everyone has a distinct personality, and we must understand it. You aren’t a genuine friend if you don’t understand your friend well enough. At this moment, self-harm victim’s judgement is clouded with emotions. So a person should deal with them calmly and flexibly, after making him believe I was there for him. I politely asked him what was going on. At first, he needed some space, and so I didn’t ask him for a while. Before giving him space, I just told him not to self-harm again.

A couple of days later, he told me the reason without me asking him. Well, sometimes some people expect their friends to ask them about the reason multiple times. Everyone is different, keep that in mind before dealing with them. He started to self-harm because his girlfriend cheated on him. He kept on repeating the same thing as he cried. Honestly, listening to him cry made me cry as well.

Motivation & Support

Last, all I did was explain to him how life is and motivate him to bury the past. Sometimes it’s motivation that people need to stop self-harming or trying to suicide. I told him,

“Life is a path full of obstacles. These obstacles can knock you down, but you have to stand up. Not just stay down and cry about it. There is no time machine which can change what happened to you. When you are born, your parents become your support. They help you walk on your path of life. When you are grown enough, you walk by yourself on your path. You can get knocked down, but you still stand up. If you get a girl, now at this moment she is supporting you on your path of life. When she leaves that will knock you down, but you have to stand back up as before that you walked alone. Avoid those obstacles and fight back.”

This took a while for him to understand, but he realized the worth of life.


Sometimes giving someone a hand can save them from making grave mistakes. Help anyone you see harming themselves. Even minor acts of kindness and attention mean the world to them. Self-harm and suicide serve no purpose. It only brings devastation.

Those whose mental health isn’t good need to be taken care of immediately before they take steps which they will regret. Remember always make them feel that they are not alone sometimes a good choice of words can help them.

“Just because you don’t understand it doesn’t mean it isn’t so.” — Lemony Snicket, The Blank Book.

Account Managed By Muhammad Ali Siddiqui, Author of The Dumb Detective

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