My First Long Distant Relationship
While surfing on the internet, a website caught my sight. There was a list of Snap chat usernames on the website. I tried to add them, by sending them friend request, in my friend’s list, but only one added me back. That’s how I met the girl with whom I didn’t expect to fall in love with.
I was 17 years old, an immature teenager who was very shy to even talk to girls. Life was stressful because of the burden of studies. My daily routine included getting up in the morning for classes, studying at home for different tests, and completing loads of homework. Life was becoming boring daily, but everything changed when I started talking with the stranger.
Our conversation began with our introduction. Her name was Mariam, her age was 16, and she was from UK whereas I was from Pakistan. Our first languages were different, hers was English and mine’s was Urdu. In Pakistani schools, it teaches education in English, so I knew English well enough to communicate with others. But I lacked confidence, and that is why my English-speaking skills were not good.
Slowly and gradually we knew each other well. After that we became friends, long distant friends.
“Sweet is the memory of distant friends! Like the mellow rays of the departing sun, it falls tenderly, yet sadly, on the heart.” — Washington Irving
We used to text each other daily, when we didn’t know what to talk about, we would compliment each other. The distant friendship strengthened even more. For me, she was an ideal friend. We would stay up for each other to text because of a time difference between Pakistan and United Kingdom. She used to appreciate me and respected my opinions. Similarly, I appreciated her and respected her perspective. We both would listen to each other, help each other if someone needed help, supported each other if life was treating any of us badly.
One day while we were chatting, she confessed that she likes me. Hearing that was unbelievable as no one said that to me, ever. This made me thrilled. I asked,
“So what do you consider me now?”
On which she replied, “Boyfriend.”
I don’t know what went through my mind, but I texted her, “You didn’t ask me out.”
This message made her embarrassed, and well, she proposed if I want to be her boyfriend.
I cried with tears of joy and replied to her yes.
I was innocent and dumb, didn’t realize what was about to come.
Our First Call
Everything changed after she became my girlfriend. I felt happier and more loved. She appreciated me more and called me in sweetest way possible. Being in love was the best feeling ever. Now we talked on call. I was very nervous, less confident and shy as well because I rarely spoke English.
I remember it was exactly 11 am in Pakistan when she called me on Snap chat. I picked up the call instantly and there was pin drop silence. After a few minutes passed, I said “Hello.” softly. I heard an exquisite voice say, “Hey dear, how are you?”. My girlfriend’s voice was soft as silk that it melted my heart.
After asking each other how we were, we talked about how we met and relived old memories. Before our call ended, we both expressed love to each other. Our conversation lasted for an hour.
“We were together even when we were apart.” — Shannon A. Thompson
Days passed by, our long distant relationship strengthened regularly. We would talk on call all night long. If one of us wasn’t feeling good, the other would comfort and help each other feel better. If my girlfriend needed help in studies, I would help her instantly as I was a senior in education than her.
Two months passed, we had a month relationship ceremony twice. We both recorded videos in which we spoke few words and expressed our love for each other. I couldn’t believe that my relationship is of two months. Though it was an online long distant relationship, but it was my first one, I had to make sure I don’t make any mistakes and listen to everything my girlfriend has to say.
What could be better for a guy like me? Long distant relationship was working fantastic for me, I never felt so loved before. There were some important things which I didn’t realize and regretted after such as education. Even though I encouraged Mariam to study harder and helped her when she needed, I stopped studying properly like I used to as I got distracted.
I never thought of how painful love can be.
In the third’s midst month of our relationship, I received a message from Mariam’s Google Hangout. The message comprising threats and abusive language. The sender wrote to never contact Mariam again. It shocked me. It was very difficult to accept the message. I tried to contact Mariam by texting and calling her on all of her social media accounts. But there was no response.
I was out of breath.
A day passed, I stayed up the whole night waiting for her reply. Another day passed, and I was still up. By the third day, I was so exhausted that I slept while I was laying down. A week passed, and I got no response from my girlfriend. After 9 days, I got a text from a random account.
“Hey babe. It’s me. Sorry I wasn’t able to talk to you because I got caught. I am grounded for a while, I am not sure when we will talk.”
Reading her message comforted me to some extent. I texted her back. She was offline by then.
Few days after her message, I got in touch with her best friend. She connected me and Mariam on a phone call. We talked for two minutes in which she told that her parents beat her up. All I could do was support her mentally, as I wasn’t present there. That is the worst cons of a long distant relationship.
After four days, she got in touch with me and told me she secretly bought a phone. By now it has been four months of our relationship. We stayed together, and I didn’t even think of breaking up during the time she was away. We didn’t celebrate third month anniversary because of the bad time she had.
The Downfall Of Our Relationship
Everything was back to normal, I was happy and stopped worrying because we started talking regularly, though it was hard for her to talk secretly. She wanted me to have her Facebook’s account details like most of the teens share in relationship.
Even though everything was back to normal, a few things didn’t seem right. We used to call at 11 am according to GMT+5, but she would be busy on phone with someone else at 11 am. I asked her once about the person she was calling. She told me it was her friend requesting her money.
“Love is not blind, but it leads to blindness.”
― Auliq Ice
Well, someone said that right.
I trusted her with everything she said. But I realized that everyday she was in call with the same person and she would make different excuses. I never thought of her lying, nor any wrong thoughts came to my mind. I was too dumb and gullible that I would trust her excuses.
One day I was laying, I thought to access her Facebook account just to check what she has been posting on Facebook. Little did I know that my heart was about to shatter. As I opened her Facebook account, a message box popped up and there was a guy named Yeasin who was calling her babe. I scrolled up and checked all the messages.
The phone slipped out of my hand, and I was in a state of shock.
Mariam was cheating on me with another guy! She had an enormous bunch of messages in which she expressed her love to him. It broke my heart badly. In an instant, my heart was shattered into pieces. I started breathing heavily and was about to cry.
This was the first time I cried because of a girl. It was impossible for me to accept the bitter reality. Initially, I thought I was in a dream and I will wake up anytime, but it wasn’t. I couldn’t talk about it to anyone. The pain inside my chest was increasing more when she would text me or call me expressing fake love.
Two days after finding out that she cheated, I tried my best to calm myself down as I was full of anger and pain. On phone call, I told her everything I saw. After realizing that I caught her red-handed, she started crying on call. Crying can be contagious. I told her I am leaving, after which I started crying too. She apologized and said while crying,
“Ali, Please Don’t Go! Please don’t leave me.”
Her apology seemed to be from a deep heart, so I accepted it. I gave her a chance, but I caught her red-handed again and again.
Even though I gave her multiple chances, but she kept on cheating. It was too much for my heart to bear. It was very difficult for me, but I had to let her go so she couldn’t hurt me further.
“Sometimes, I don’t know what haunts me more.. The memories of you… Or the happy person I used to be.” — Ranata Suzuki.
That day I lost my true self.
Long distant relationships can work if roots are strong. If roots aren’t powerful enough, then the partner leaves you eventually without caring about how much you can get hurt.